She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
