She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
