I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
