How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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