i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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