My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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