You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
