i love accidental penises.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dear god my vagina.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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