There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
