Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
