the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
