She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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