in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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