We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
