Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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