somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
