It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
