i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
