But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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