Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
