miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize