He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
