people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
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