porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize