I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
