I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
40s are totally the cure
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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