She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
