Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize