Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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