Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
