a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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