i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
