I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
