mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
