shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
