I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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