Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
