i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
