Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
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