I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
