Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
