Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
