Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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