hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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