Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He felt like a one man threesome
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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