Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Text me some of your sweat
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
