There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
