We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize