No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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