She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
