If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
