I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
