No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize