Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
