when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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