I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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