the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
