Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize