Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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