I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
