i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
