It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
