i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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