I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
