you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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