also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
