nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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