im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
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