Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
