I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
