New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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