if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
