just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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