We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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