ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
