Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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