I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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