Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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