I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
