I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
