Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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