So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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