he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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