I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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